Nothing is more valuable

Ask anyone, and they would talk about the time their best friends had betrayed them, failed to understand them or had stopped talking to them for some reason. Very often we place the blame on the other person, without thinking if, we, ourselves are also to be blamed?
We always expect others to understand us, but do we first try to understand them? We want our friends to be with us when we need them, but are we with them when they need us? We cry when we feel that our friends are avoiding us, but do we try to find the reason behind it?
When a close friend stops visiting, calling or even taking our calls, it could very well mean that they are avoiding us - BUT- it could also mean that they are facing some big problem & need our support. Normally when such situations occur, we would simply cut off from our friends thinking that they no longer want to talk to us, while the truth would be something entirely opposite.

Friendship is the most beautiful relationship that could exist between two people. You are very lucky even if you have just one or two close friends who love & accept you for what you are. Just make sure that you understand them they way you expect them to, keep your communication clear & sort out any misunderstandings before they erode your friendship. Never let your ego come between your friends and you- friendships are too valuable to be lost over something as trivial as Ego.

Cherish your friends, while you have their company. Its no use crying over a friendship once it is over.
I still remember the pain I felt when my childhood best friend dumped me when I was around nine. She was someone I trusted more than I did myself, and I know that she too trusted me a lot. I loved her very deeply- she was my sister, my sweetheart, my guide- all rolled into one. We had first met when I was hardly four, and she, an year older. We promised each other that we would be best friends forever. But things changed when her father got a job in another city and she moved away from me. At that time telephones were not yet much in use, but I wrote to her regularly. She never replied. Yet I kept on writing, maybe in the hope that she would respond one day. I had complete faith in our friendship. But she never did, she did not write back to me even a single time. After some years, I did get to meet her in person, but by that time, the "connection" was just gone. Yet I am glad that I had tried my best to save that friendship, even if unsuccessfully.

Those Invisible Chains...

One day, while playing with Karan, a friendly street dog, I suddenly had an urge to take him for a walk. Not that he really needed one, after all, he was a stray, free to roam the street whenever he wanted. Yet as a selfish human being, I wanted to possess him, if only for a few minutes. I retrieved the chain used to tie up Steve, my pet dog. Even though I loved Steve very much, but sometimes I would feel guilty that the poor thing did not have the privilege of freedom, in spite of having everything else he could possibly desire.
Armed with the sturdy chain, I gleefully went ahead to tie up Karan & take him for a walk. But the street dog was not someone to be enslaved! He put up a brave and noisy protest as I tried to put the chain around his neck. This was strange, given that he was a very sweet & soft natured dog. I had expected him to meekly give in to my stupid egoistic wish. Though surprised, i was not going to give up. I again tried, by holding him tightly with one hand while attempting to slip the chain around his neck with the other.
But no way! He shook his head from side to side & squirmed out of my grip.
This was very much surprising, because Karan was the very same animal who would let me shampoo him & decorate him with henna & bindi. He was my sweet little doll!!
Now, why would he not co operate with me this time? Because co operating this time would mean compromising with his freedom. and he was so fiercely independent that he would not let go of it at any cost- not even for a human being he loved & trusted.
I realized my mistake & let him go- had my love for him been true, I would not have tried to possess him.

I wonder, why we human beings often lack the spirit of independence & courage to follow our hearts, which even those beings ranking lower in the evolutionary hierarchy have?
Why are we bound by so many shackles that on deeper thoughts, are non existent?
Do family & society really limit us, or are we prisoners of our own imagination?
Why do we choose to meekly submit to the unreasonable expectations of others instead of gathering the spiritual strength to resist?

It is really funny that dogs, whom many consider as lowly, are far more capable of showing character when required than the so-called higher organism - Human Beings- are.

You Can Not Predict, Can You?

"Where do you see yourself 10 years from now?" I had always felt that this standard question, asked at most interviews is a stupid one. How can one actually imagine how life would be like after 10 years when one can never know for sure what tomorrow will bring? One can not even be sure that he would be alive the next morning! Supposing that you do get to be living after 10 years, but can you predict what the situations are likely to be at that time? Can you know what it would be, that would give happiness & contentment in life 10 years hence?
A 5 year old child may remark that he would build a castle of chocolate bricks when he grows up. Would the same child actually do that, if he could, at the age of 25?
It is not uncommon for Nursery students to declare that they love their class teacher & want to marry her. But would any sensible young man still hold on to that fantasy a decade later?
The human mind is not static, it is always in a state of transition. Change is a natural process- Just as the physical body of a living organism transforms over time, its mind also evolves. The human mind is said to be evolving when it transcends the physical aspect of merely existing, and moves on to the intellectual angle of cognition, and finally towards spiritual facet of 'being'.
But when you are attending an interview for a big management position, this is NOT what you are supposed to say!!
No doubt, I am so bad at corporate interviews :-p !!

When he said 'Chicken Pox' !

The first time I fell in love was when I was in Class I, barely six years of age. He was new to my school, and I felt that it was my duty to make him familiar with the surroundings. I don't remember if it was love at first sight, but there was no doubt that I was falling for this tall, dark & intelligent guy! What attracted me most to him was the way he spoke, he was indeed wise for his age and so much confident. I wanted to befriend him, but was too shy to talk to him. My darling class teacher solved my problem- She made me sit with HIM when she made the seating arrangements!! He smiled at me, I almost blushed. It is true that age is no barrier to falling in love.
But my happiness was short lived. One day I discovered that my face and body were covered with small blisters, like the ones that form when something really hot falls on your skin. Of course, I was too young to be concerned- but my mother was and she took me to the doctor. He looked at me and said something to my mother as he wrote out a prescription. Mom told me that I would miss around 2 weeks of school, & that I would need to take some medicines & apply a thick, smelly lotion called 'Calamine' if I wanted to get well soon. It was strange, given that I did not at all feel like I was not well!! Yet, I had to comply with what Mom said. And I badly missed school for the next few days, which seemed to drag for an eternity. Not that I liked to study, but I was feeling lost without my sweet love.
And finally one day, mom decided that I was well enough to return back to school. She dressed me in my uniform, slathered calamine all over my face & scalp, and wrapped a scarf around my head. It felt strange to be back- all my classmates stared at me curiously as soon as I entered the classroom and bombarded me with questions.
"Why were you absent?"
"Were you sick?"
"What are those pink dots on your face?"

Being an introvert who prefers her privacy, I was very much uncomfortable with the unwanted attention I was getting.
As I stood wondering how to escape, HE came to my rescue.
He smiled at me and addressed the class- "Can't you see that she is not well?"
"Does she have fever?" enquired a classmate.
" No. She has Chicken Pox. Now let her rest. OK?"

Chicken Pox. Wasn't it the same thing the doctor had said when he first saw me?
WOW,I thought, impressed. This guy is as intelligent as the doctor!!
I went to my seat at the back row as my other classmates gathered to discuss the new term they had just now learnt. A sense of warmth and pride engulfed me as I smiled to myself. I was glad to be in love, and happier still that I was in love with the most intelligent guy in my class.

This loneliness is killing :-( !!

For the first time in my life of 25 years and 6 months, I am feeling alone- very lonely in fact. This is strange, given that I am someone who really loves her solitude!! Being an introvert, I am very happy being alone, connecting with my inner self & day dreaming about the never ending wonders of this world. But now, I am so lonely because I am unable to get even my solitude.
Solitude is when you are with yourself, with no one else to disrupt your privacy. Solitude is the glory of being alone- peaceful, calm & comforting. Loneliness is just the opposite- You are lonely when you are unable to connect with anyone, even yourself. You are lonely when you are in midst of a crowd, a crowd you don't belong to. Nothing is more difficult than being with people you don't want to be with, people you are not comfortable with. It is horrible when situations force you to interact with beings you would rather steer clear of. But, then life has its own way of making you do things which you would never have done otherwise :-( !!
Never before have I felt more alienated- like a tiny speck in this vast universe, cut off from just everything that ever bound me to this life.
I don't know what has happened, I can not even reach out to the human beings who were once so close to me, who were a part of my very existence. Why do I feel that even the closest of my friends have drifted away? I don't doubt their friendships, though. Maybe they too are lost - & lonely- and unable to reach out to others? Or maybe, it is me who has drifted away? The world seems a superficial place to be in, everything feels so fake. After all, life is just an illusion, isn't it?

Of Pet Dogs & Arranged Marriages

Someone told me that I am very bad with metaphors, yet I can not stop using my pet ones :-) !!
A few years ago, I had a pet dog- A very handsome & majestic German Shepherd. He was highly admired & feared by everyone in my street, and he certainly deserved to be, for he was one of the most dignified & self respecting animal I had ever known.
Many times during his lifetime, he had been pursued by other dog owners- as a stud for their German Shepherd bitches. Now who would not have wanted his bitch to have Steve's puppies?
As the proud owner of my lovely dog, my father would often be hounded by proposals which would go somewhat like this- "I like your dog! I have a GS bitch, and was wondering if you could lend him to me for a few days?"
The proposals always included an offer for payment in return- either in cash, or in kind ( a puppy, to be specific). But Steve would always disappoint the bitch's owner- he would never even look at the bitch, let alone making her pregnant! I would smile to myself whenever this happened, my Stevie boy was dignified, he would not mate with just anyone just because his owner wanted him to. And that poor thing fancied a stray brown bitch, whom he could not be with because she was "just a street mongrel"

When I look at our Indian society, I find many human beings lacking the basic dignity that even my dog had- some people would just marry anyone for sake of parental pressure. I am appalled, to say the least, that even today there are youngsters whose parents fix their marriages even without their approvals! And certain people even take pride in doing so! Pathetic.

It is not uncommon for people to marry ( and sleep with) complete strangers.In many cases of arranged marriages, they boy & the girl would have met hardly a couple of times before tying the knot. The concept of arranged marriage is not much different from the arranged mating of pet dogs- All that matters is the breed ( read religion, caste, sub caste ), convenience & the materialistic aspects ( It is the exchange of cash or a puppy in case of dogs, & in case of human beings, it extends to gold, property, furniture, electronic gadgets, vehicles & so on )

It is easy to understand the reason behind the popularity of arranged marriages- it targets the inherent greed of humans, their insatiable thirst for easy money and social status. And Sex is guaranteed- even if someone is socially or biologically incapable of attracting a suitable partner, one can easily get a sexual partner through such arrangements.

And the best thing? It is so convenient & simple- as simple as getting your pet dogs mated :-) !!

Fairytales Happen in Crowland

A few years ago, I witnessed something that I could have never imagined. A handsome black crow spread out his tail feathers and began to move clumsily in circles. I could almost feel his nervousness and was amused by his strange behaviour. Then I noticed another crow nearby, watching him with great interest. I started laughing when I realized what was actually happening- the crow was dancing, in order to impress his lady love !! This was a big surprise because I never knew that crows could dance! And there he was, this darling crow dancing in full earnest, his dark feathers shining in the morning sun. Though he was far too self conscious to be graceful, yet I knew his efforts were sincere. Trust me, nothing can be more endearing than a crow in love- a dancing crow, dancing inspite of knowing that he had no talent for it.
"Come on girl, accept his proposal," I mentally urged the female. She eventually did. Mrs. & Mr.Crow proceeded to build a nest on a near by telephone pole & raised a very ugly chick over the next few weeks.
I had read somewhere that crows are monogamous; when they pair, they pair for life. The fact that I might have witnessed the begining of an eternal love story was so fascinating. There is definitely something comforting about the concept of monogamy, maybe that is why we, human beings try to force it upon ourselves. Maybe that is why adults & children alike are so deeply moved by fairytales.
Why Do we still believe that people fall in love only once in this life? Why do we think that we all have got, but one soulmate? Why do we tend to cling on to idealistic romantic beliefs inspite of very well knowing that nature never intended humans to be monogamous?
Is it because we were brought up to think like this, or is it because we all crave for the security & stability monogamy is associated with? Why do we all want something that was not meant for us in the first place?

How I wish I knew!! Maybe I will get the answers when the time is right...