"An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup."
-- H. L. Mencken
When I heard the word "idealist" for the very first time,
I thought it was a swear word. Way back as a teenager I was sharing my world
views with my brother when he wrinkled his nose with disgust and muttered
"Idealist" under his breath. I did not know what the word meant; I
actually had to look it up in a dictionary. The definition did suit me. But I
could not understand why he found it disgusting.
Coming back to the present, I
now realize why my brother made a face. Sometimes idealists can be so foolishly
optimistic about life that it gets annoying. Real life does not operate with
storybook simplicity but some people are immature enough to think it does; I
had been one of those naive idealists.
Now I finally accept some truths that I
for so long had refused to acknowledge.
- Idealism fades off with age: When I was younger and high on idealism, I sincerely thought I would be like that always. But the more you experience real life and observe the world around you (with all its problems, unfairness and complications), the more you lose your idealistic beliefs.
- Time and distance can (and do) alienate people: We like to think that if two people are really close to each other, then time or distance cannot come between them. Maybe in the case of an ideal relationship in an ideal world. In the real world things are different, and external factors can definitely create distances between people.
- Fulfillment of your most cherished dream may not give you much joy: We all have certain dreams we hold close to our hearts, dreams that we cannot wait to see fulfilled. But many times, the fulfillment of those dreams fail to give you that much anticipated sense of contentment, or worse, could even disappoint you.
- Everything does not end perfectly: There are perfect ways to end things. It is possible to end relationships smoothly or leave a job in the most amicable manner. But still every ending just does not happen in the most ideal way in spite of your best efforts (there are many other forces at play in addition to your efforts).
- No relationship is unconditional: Obviously familial or romantic relationships are based on numerous conditions though all this time I thought friendships were unconditional. But no, there are conditions in friendships as well. Still friendship is one of the least conditional (not unconditional) relationships of all.
- Money is important: Idealists who prefer a simple way of life think that they can easily manage with lesser amounts of money if they keep their materialistic needs minimal. Nice thought, if you ignore the fact that life is not one smooth long ride. An emergency or medical crisis can strike anytime, bursting the bubble of anyone who thinks that money is not that important.
- You cannot always follow your heart: This is one really sad fact. It is so easy to preach that one should follow their hearts, no matter what. But it is often impractical or unwise to blindly follow your heart without considering the after-effects. Sometimes you just have to put up with the circumstances and wait for times to change before you can actually follow your heart.
- At times your intuition won't answer your queries: There are times when you desperately need an answer to a life question and turn to the only source you know won't betray you--your intuition. You ask it a question and wait for an answer, but receive no response. At times it feels as if your intuition has gone blank, no matter how much you rephrase your question, how much you pray, you don't receive an answer. Your intuition will never betray you, but it may not answer your questions every time.
