She Too Is a Woman...

I shall never forget that cold winter night when I came face to face with her- A woman looked down upon by her own kind, someone despised by the society, a human being who could not avail of even her most basic rights.

I had climbed on into an auto rickshaw without glancing at the others already seated inside. By the time I realized who I was facing, the vehicle had started to move. That gaudy maroon lipstick, bright pink eye shadow and the plunging neckline gave away what she did for a living. And she was accompanied by a scrawny man who kept on stroking her thighs. Disgusted and shocked, I ordered the auto driver to stop. As I climbed out, her eyes caught mine. The way she looked at me stirred something inside my soul. I knew I would never be able to get her out of my mind- she would leave an indelible impact.

She was a woman like me, in her twenties. She too had a life and the right to live it with dignity just the way I do. I suddenly was overwhelmed by a pang of guilt for I knew that she could never live with dignity even if she wanted to. She had no warm clothing to shield her from the cold and nor had she any protection against the risk of AIDS and other STDs her numerous clients might expose her to. Her poor lifestyle & unsafe sexual habits made her a likely victim of another killer disease- Cervical cancer. She was mal nourished and weak. I could say from those white patches on her face and her warty looking skin. Those bald patches in her scalp could have been the result of years of physical abuse or a sign of disease. And add to this, the lack of adequate medical care, financial problems and absence of legal protection.

This is her real story- the plight of a woman stripped of her dignity, exploited by men and ignored by the government. The society needs to realize that these poor females are not to be hated, for they themselves are victims of circumstances. No one would choose such a life for herself, no one becomes a prostitute by choice- she is either born to a prostitute or sold to one by someone who was supposed to protect her.

How can we talk of female empowerment when lakhs of women are subjected to such a miserable existence? We can not call ourselves a civilized society until each human being gets a chance to live with dignity, can we?

Sometimes when you feel this way...

Normally, I don't blog when I am upset. But today, I need to. I am feeling so low that it feels like my head will burst if I don't express myself. Actually, the only reason I logged in now was to find some articles for my assignment ( Ya, we are supposed to maintain a scrapbook of newspaper cuttings and articles. Imagine, this at the master's level :-( !! )
But I am unable to concentrate now. It is as if I am tired of just about everything. I don't understand why I am feeling so low, so lost, so confused :-( !! It is so unlike me!! I am not someone who would get upset quickly!! I don't know, I mean it happens sometimes that even the most cheerful people feel pretty down.
I guess, I should count my blessings if I want to get over this lousy mood...
Life has been good to me, I have so much to be thankful for, and I am.
I have got the most loving and caring person as my sibling -he is someone I trust more than I trust myself ,
Good relations with my parents,
Two best friends while many others don't even have one,
I am lucky because lots of cats and dogs live near my home- some cities don't even have stray animals in the street,
I am pursuing my second Master's degree in a country where millions of women don't get a chance even to attend school...

It is not that I am not grateful to GOD for whatever he has given me, but it is something else that I need- Answers to many unanswered questions which have been disturbing me for long... Whatever is the purpose of our existence?
Why am I the person that I am, and not someone else?
Why are somethings meant to happen? And how come other things simply fall into place by themselves when something is meant to be?
Why are we meant to meet certain people in this lifetime?
Why do soul mates exist?
Is there any logic behind the immense power of faith?
What is love, why can we never define it?

I don't know, the more I think about such things, the more confused I become... I wish I could understand, but I can't... I pray for the answers, but I know HE will reply only when the time is right...

No more crushes :-( !!

A few days before V'Day, I casually asked a friend of mine if he had a crush on anyone.
"Nothing", he replied disinterested. "Yaar I am over with such things"
I had to agree. At 25 years of age, one does move over such things, though I wish we did not have to. But with time, our perspectives and priorities change. When you are a 13 year old, you have a very simplistic model in your mind, about how love and marriages happen- people grow up, they meet someone special, they fall in love, and ultimately they get married. Then at 14 you have a crush on a cute classmate & believe that you are in love. Gradually the infatuation wears off and you start liking someone else who is oblivious to your existence. Meanwhile, a pathetic creature you really dislike starts liking you and follows you like a devoted puppy. On one hand you are happy about the fact that you have got an admirer but on the other one, this is someone you simply hate !! By the time you are convinced that you are fated only for one-sided loves, the unexpected happens- A person you secretly like gives signals that they too like you!! After a few days of shyly exchanging glances, you guys start chatting and within a few days you decide that you have met "The One". Just as you are mentally planning your wedding, things fall apart. You get dumped. Your heart breaks and you feel like dying. "Never again", you tell yourself tearfully, resolving never to fall in love again. A few months pass, your heart heals and YES!! You are in love again!! The same sequence follows- your heart starts fluttering the moment you spot your special one, your face turns red the first time they talk to you, you are on cloud nine when on your date... Within days you are convinced that you have found your soul mate!! But a few weeks into the relationship and you realize you are stuck up with someone totally incompatible. You leave the relationship- and break a heart. At this stage you learn a very painful truth - breaking a heart sometimes hurts as much as, if not more, than getting yours broken. Copious tears flow but you move on with time. You learn not to fall in love on a whim. You become wiser, more mature and finally get over with childish emotions like crushes & infatuations.
I certainly have risen above this concept. Now a days whenever I see youngsters blushing & gushing over a new crush, I know they are secretly planning a future together. I smile at their innocence and feel a twinge of sadness at the same time because I have grown up.