Friday, April 2, 2010

This loneliness is killing :-( !!

For the first time in my life of 25 years and 6 months, I am feeling alone- very lonely in fact. This is strange, given that I am someone who really loves her solitude!! Being an introvert, I am very happy being alone, connecting with my inner self & day dreaming about the never ending wonders of this world. But now, I am so lonely because I am unable to get even my solitude.
Solitude is when you are with yourself, with no one else to disrupt your privacy. Solitude is the glory of being alone- peaceful, calm & comforting. Loneliness is just the opposite- You are lonely when you are unable to connect with anyone, even yourself. You are lonely when you are in midst of a crowd, a crowd you don't belong to. Nothing is more difficult than being with people you don't want to be with, people you are not comfortable with. It is horrible when situations force you to interact with beings you would rather steer clear of. But, then life has its own way of making you do things which you would never have done otherwise :-( !!
Never before have I felt more alienated- like a tiny speck in this vast universe, cut off from just everything that ever bound me to this life.
I don't know what has happened, I can not even reach out to the human beings who were once so close to me, who were a part of my very existence. Why do I feel that even the closest of my friends have drifted away? I don't doubt their friendships, though. Maybe they too are lost - & lonely- and unable to reach out to others? Or maybe, it is me who has drifted away? The world seems a superficial place to be in, everything feels so fake. After all, life is just an illusion, isn't it?

2 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I feel that it's a human tendency that we get bored when we keep on doing same thing again n again and we need a lil change that time, this is juz a human tendency. But i would say that real person is that one who can face this thing and keep moving, i have understood your thoughts by your posts and instead of making you weak, my advice to you is that keep moving, this is juz a little phase where u r feeling like loneliness is killing but may be after a long time u will get some one who will be a part of ur solitude, he/ she can be anyone with whom you can spare your moments and thoughts....so don't worry and yeah again a nice post.
    Especially i liked the last line "Life is just an illusion,isn't it" . yeah i agree 100% with this line and i am also seeking how to break this illusion or say what's the purpose of my being here :)

    ReplyDelete